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Thursday, July 17, 2014

In the Pleasure Groove: Love, Death, and Duran Duran

Being a female teeny bopper in the glorious years that comprised the 1980’s, it was a rite of passage to swoon over the boys in Duran Duran.  While I’m guilty of such activities myself, I’m proud to state that my participation was somewhat limited.  Their sound was always a bit too modern, their look too glam.  (Nick Rhodes STILL wears more make-up than any woman I know!)  But, the gossip hound in me is still intrigued by any book that promises to give the reader an inside glimpse of life in the spotlight.  
     
So, I’ve already told you that I’m not the biggest D2 fan.  In addition to this, I always got the distinct impression that JT, in particular, was a moronic digme.  I suppose the vast majority of ‘rock stars’ have elements of that, but he seems to have more than his share.  In interviews – including those given during Duran’s heyday - I always thought he came across as an immature, smarmy schmuck.  Judging by some of the things he writes in this book, it doesn’t seem that he’s changed much. 

There’s nothing even remotely likable about this guy – there’s nothing to him.  He’s all air.  And, when I say ‘air,’ I don’t mean to insinuate stupidity.  Instead, I just think there’s no depth to his character (certainly none on display here).  And, every time I thought he was starting to scratch the surface of something, I’d turn the page and he’d be on to something completely different.  When he spoke about becoming a dad, I thought – here we go.  I’m sure I’ll see a more human side to him.  And, I did…for about 3 paragraphs.  I think the book would’ve done better to cover fewer topics, but delve deeper into the ones that remained.  Instead, I didn’t feel like I was given a true idea of who he is, beyond the arrogant mess I already envisioned. 

There were the obligatory chapters:  his stint in rehab; the numerous women he loved, left, and forgot about; the name dropping.  But, there’s no originality – nothing that sets him apart from any other rock star featured in a 60-second VH1 clip. 

I also have to take issue with the pictures included in the book.  It was really nice that a photo was included at the beginning of each chapter (in addition to the obligatory insert) – a really nice touch.  HOWEVER, it would’ve been nicer if I had known who I was looking at.  In one of the more bizarre traits of this autobiography, NONE of the people in the pictures are identified.  It was *so* annoying to read about someone, and then have to guess if that was the one pictured or not.  Yep – ball, dropped.
      
Alas, now we come to the reason why I have never been a real John Taylor fan.  He’s a brat.  I formed that opinion approximately 30 years ago, and it stands true today.  Duran Duran was a phenomenon, without a doubt.   There were screaming girls, sold out concerts, the whole nine yards.  But, JT writes as if they were as big as the Beatles.  I think someone needs to remind him of just how quickly their balloon deflated.  Sure, they’re still together (for the most part), and put out the occasional new song.  But, when was the last time they were able to fill a stadium?  Or even an average size basketball arena?  If you want to talk like the big boys, you have to produce like the big boys.  They certainly can’t be lumped into the same category as artists such as U2, the Stones, or Springsteen (who seems to be a frequent victim of Taylor’s tantrums.)  

Much as he’d probably hate to admit it, his personal fame has far more to do with his pretty face than any talent he believes himself to have.


John Taylor is a legend in his own mind, but certainly not in mine.

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