The Impossible Lives of Greta Wells, by Andrew Sean Greer

I finished reading this book several days ago now, but still haven’t been able to start writing a review.  This is a toughie.  Can I really say that I didn’t enjoy it?  Or were the confusing elements presented in an entertaining enough way to give it a thumbs-up?  I’m still not sure.

I should tell you up front that I didn’t purchase this book, nor borrow it from my library.  Instead, I won a copy through a Goodreads.com giveaway.  These things can be a blessing or a curse.  Sure, you get to read a new book – many times, before it’s even released.  The down side, however, is that some of them suck.  I mean really, really SUCK.  While this particular book won’t rank high on my favorite reads of 2013 list, it didn’t fall all the way down in the suckage puddle, either.

The story revolves around Greta Wells.  At the beginning of the book, it’s 1985, and many elements of Greta’s life seem to be falling apart.  Her twin brother, Felix, has just died of AIDS, while her lover of many years, Nathan, has decided to jump ship and leave her.  What’s a girl to do?  Why, she turns to electroconvulsive therapy, of course.  Don’t we all?  I *did* say that the year is 1985, didn’t I?  Ah well…

As Miss Wells embarks on these treatments, she travels through time – back to the Greta of 1918 and 1941.  She shifts between years with each session, waking up first in 1918, then in 1941, followed by 1985, and then starts all over again.  Here’s where everything went a little off course for me, however.  While the book is generally well written, and should be easy to follow, it’s a little ‘all over the place’ at the same time.  All the same characters are present during each visit – Felix, Nathan, et al.  The problem I had was keeping them all straight.  Sometimes Greta and Nathan were married, sometimes he was off at war.  Felix was always a homosexual, but at times he was married with a child, while other times, he was a loner, trying to face who he really was.  I can tell you what I was…CONFUSED. 

Granted, I’m a relatively fast reader, which can sometimes work against me.  I think that was the case here.  I’d go through the pages at a rate that made me forget what happened just four paragraphs ago.  That’s *not* a good thing when the story is flipping between three different time periods, involving (for the most part) all the same characters.  That brings me to my next point, though…

In 1918, Greta has a fling, if you will, with a young man named Leo.  I liked Leo.  I wanted to know more about Leo.  Sadly, though, Leo seemed like an afterthought that was thrown in just to add another element of drama.  Basically, what came out of the ‘Leo’ storyline could’ve been ripped from any soap opera script.  Is now a good time to mention that I don’t watch soap operas?

I don’t want to give you the wrong impression here, though.  The book was entertaining.  It was well written and interesting.  To be fair, I should probably sit down with it and give it another read – more slowly this time.  Unfortunately, though, there are far too many other books to be tackled.  So, I’m sticking with my middle of the road opinion.  Your mileage may vary.

3 Stars    

Yummy Veggie Pasta Salad

Well, it’s been about a month since I began this journey, so I figured it was time to finally get a recipe posted.  I want to get one thing out of the way immediately.  I don’t particularly *like* to cook.  Actually, that’s not completely accurate.  I do like to cook – it’s the cleaning up that I loathe.  My hubby and I have a deal that says whenever I choose to cook, he’ll handle the clean up.  There’s only one problem with that.  His idea of clean up is throwing everything in the sink to ‘soak.’  Yeah, right, gotcha honey.  Anyway, the reason I’m blathering on and on with all this useless information is simply to let you know that if I’m posting a recipe, it’s got to be two things:  Tasty and E-A-S-Y.

This first one I’m going to share is a big-time favorite of ours.  My husband (Jimmy – have you met?) has been known to refer to it as pasta crack, if that’s any indication.  I originally found it through Weight Watchers, but I’ve since tweaked it to make it my own.  Please keep in mind that I have never, *ever* written out a recipe on my own, so go easy on me here if I make any errors.  Also, with this particular recipe, you can make many, many alterations to make this recipe your own, as well.  The possibilities are endless.  

Ingredients:   

1 lb. whole wheat pasta (any shape - we prefer penne or rotini)

1/3 cup white wine vinegar

1 t. sugar

3 t. olive oil

4 cloves garlic, minced

4 T. shredded parmesan

2 bell peppers (any color – mix it up, and make it bright and pretty!)

1 bunch asparagus

½ cup sundried tomatoes, chopped

Salt, Pepper, Dried Basil to taste (or use the fresh stuff if you’re a snob)

Directions:

1.       Wash and dry all vegetables.  Slice the asparagus into 1-inch pieces and cook via your favorite method.  (I use those Steam bags from Ziploc, and nuke the suckers for about 2 minutes).

 2.       Cut the peppers into 1-inch square pieces.  Add 1 teaspoon of the olive oil to a non-stick pan and sauté the peppers until tender.  (Note the bland, yet Christmas-y colors I had to work with.  That's what happens when you send hubby to the vegetable market to get 'bright, fun' colors.)

3.       Chop the sundried tomatoes in a large dice and set aside.

4.       In the meantime, start a pot of salted water boiling and add the pasta.

5.       In a large bowl, add the vinegar, sugar, garlic, and cheese and whisk together.

6.       When the pasta is finished, drain and return to the same pot.  Add in the remaining two teaspoons of olive oil and stir.

7.       Add the pasta to the large bowl containing the vinegar mixture.  Add in remaining vegetables (asparagus, peppers, and sundried tomatoes).

8.       Stir well, and season with salt, pepper, and basil to taste.

Voila!  You’re done.  This makes nine 1-cup servings (at 6 points plus each) OR  six 1-1/2 cup servings (at 9 points plus each).  You can eat it when it’s fresh and hot, or let it get to room temperature, or be a rebel and eat it after it’s been refrigerated.  I like it all three ways, while Jimmy prefers the room temp version.

My FAVORITE thing about this recipe is that it makes oodles of leftovers, that are great to take with you anywhere (it’s that whole temperature thing, remember?).    Also, you can add or subtract just about anything you want.  In fact, I usually make this with the addition of a poblano or jalapeno pepper, to give it a little bit of a kick.  If you choose to go the spicy route, just remember to sauté the hotties with the boring bell peppers.


Disclaimer:  The finished product shown here was taken the *last* time I made this pasta salad (note the prettier colors!)  I admit, I spaced and forgot to take the picture this go round.  Sorry 'bout that!

Some other suggestions: 

-          I once made this with fresh corn that I stripped from the cob.  I added in some black beans for that healthy fiber, and used cilantro instead of the basil.  This is one of Jimmy’s favorite varieties and I made it up all by myself!!  Yay, me!!!

-          Okay, I really only made that one other variation, but I thought it would look stupid to only have one bullet point. 

Chow down, loyal readers.  I’ll wait ‘til you’re finished.

Miscellaneous Musings

I read a lot of books.  Sometimes, I'll get through 4 or 5 in a week.  Now that I've started this blog, however, I've come to the conclusion that I can't review everything I consume.  Admittedly, it's difficult to pick and choose which books will make the cut.  It's *particularly* difficult when you feel like you've been the victim of a brain-sucking zombie, a la The Walking Dead, and forget the plots of most books before even closing their covers.  But, I'll take what I can get.  In the interest of full disclosure, however, I'll share the books I've finished recently, and an overall rating.  Please keep in mind that these are the ratings I assigned on goodreads.com, which for some godforsaken reason does NOT allow you to rate in halvsies.  (Why not?  Seriously?  Did someone miss decimal/fraction day in math class?)  At this point, due to reasons mentioned above (which I can't recall now, so please go back and re-read, if necessary), I'm not able to add/subtract that all important .5 now.  If you'd like more details on any of them, check out some of the reviews on that evil Goodreads.com.  Aside from their screwed up ratings system, it's a pretty cool site.  Now, on with the show... 

 

The Heist By Janet Evanovich & Lee Goldberg (*not* the weather guy from WABC, New York.  I checked) - 3 Stars

The Truth About Love & Lightning by Susan McBride - 4 Stars

Second Honeymoon by James Patterson - 3 Stars (Why even rate Patterson novels anymore?  They're all the same, yet I keep going back.)

The Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick – 4 Stars (And no, I didn’t see the movie, so I can’t compare.  Sorry!)

Big Girl Panties by Stephanie Evanovich - 2 Stars  (Holy crap, was this bad!!  I was REALLY hoping Miss Stephanie would share some of the funny gene so perfectly honed by her Aunt Janet, but this was just awful.  I contemplated doing a full review of this one, but didn't want to relive the horror.  If you insist on checking it out, however, stick to perusing the back cover.  Once you get through that, there's no need to read the other 200-something pages, because you'll have the whole story mapped out already.  There's not a single line of originality to be found anywhere in this sucker.  WHY did I give this crap 2 stars?  I think I'm going to adjust it to 1.  It's worthy of the change.)

The Pretty One by Lucinda Rosenfeld - 2 Stars  (Another crappy book.  I should've known the type of trash I was in for when - on page SIX - one of the main characters screamed at her toddler daughter “You’re driving me f***ing insane!!” before ‘pushing’ her.  Alllllrighty, then.  And, no, this woman did *not* have any sort of emotional issues.  That’s just how f’ed up the characters in this book are.)

The Art Forger by B.A. Shapiro - 4 Stars (Umm...good book?  Sorry - drawing a blank here.  Surprise, surprise!)

So, that’s the synopsis for the past couple of weeks.  If you’ve come across any incredible books recently that you think I should check into, BY ALL MEANS, leave a comment, or shoot me an email.  I don’t bite. 

Initially.

Oh, and one more thing.  I realize this entry was a little bland - no purdy pictures or anything.  So, I'll leave you with a different kind of eye candy.  You can thank me later.  Nom, nom, nom

 

Retail Hell (How I Sold My Soul to the Store...Confessions of a Tortured Sales Associate) by Freeman Hall

I know, I know. What a BIZARRE book to review. There are so many wonderful, new books to choose from in this crazy worlds, yet *this* is what I choose?!? Yes, ma’am (or sir), I certainly did. Do you remember, way back when I first started with blog (approximately 18 days ago), I made mention of the fact that I read purely for entertainment? That I couldn’t give a rat’s hairy patootie if it had any educational, spiritual, or even literary qualities? Well, here ya go – I give you Retail Hell.
The book is a comical (yet sadly, factual) account of the author’s trek through the muddy waters of retail sales. One (not-so-real) word: Ewww. If you’ve worked – even one day – with the public at large, I think you’ll be able to relate to the sadness that is life behind a cash register (or handbag corral, in this case). Seriously people, it’s not rocket science. It’s harder.

As if working in retail wasn’t enough of a hardship, factor in that the author is a male, assigned to work in the handbag department of The Big Fancy (the fictional name Mr. Hall gave to that scion of snoot, Nordstrom, to avoid any pesky lawsuits). Although he eventually rose to the top of his game, it was quite a climb to get there. Between his snarky co-workers (fondly referred to as The Demon Squad), and a cast of customers that reads like a Saturday Night Live skit (Teddy Bear Lady, The Vampire Bavaro, This Little Piggy, et al), this guy had his work cut out for him.

The chapters have amusing titles, such as Shoposaurus Carnotaurus and The P-Word (it’s ‘purse’ people, get your minds out of the gutter). Some make it easy to figure out the nightmare within, like Babysitting the Devil’s Spawn, and my personal favorite, ‘The Shitting Room.’ I will warn you, however, that latter chapter was NOT an easy read. If you have a strong enough constitution, though, solder on, because you *will* laugh out loud (if you don’t puke first). Personally, I just peed a little.

It’s true that any one of us who has spent *any* time working with the public will have many horror stories to share. (Ask me about the rotisserie chicken I ‘suffocated’ in the supermarket checkout line by using an insulated bag ). Bottom line: We humans are a scary bunch.
I saw a few negative reviews for this book over on Goodreads.com, many of which accused the author of ‘whining’ or complaining too much. My challenge to those people? Work a shift at The Big Fancy (or any other retail store), and then we’ll talk. If you can still be all smiles and rainbows, then you’re a better person than I am.

I will admit that there are far too many of these ‘tell-all’ books cropping up lately. One quick search on Amazon will yield you similar tales told by people in the restaurant, airline, cruise, and hotel industries. And, yes, there were more than a few cursewords and sexual innuendos in this one, so if that sort of stuff offends you, skip it. My overall assessment, though? Well, perhaps I’m just not picky enough, but this book gave me something precious – laughter. And, what else can one ask for when reading for E-N-T-E-R-T-A-I-N-M-E-N-T?

3.5 Stars

Beautiful Day, by Elin Hilderbrand

I remember the first time I discovered Elin Hilderbrand, an author whose books take place in the popular vacation spot of Nantucket Island.  Appropriately enough, I was on my own beach vacation at the time, searching for a relaxing read, when I stumbled across the book Barefoot.  The cover, which featured the rolled-up denim-clad legs of three young women snuggling under a beach blanket, just yelled ‘BEACH READ,’ so I caved and bought it.  Although I admittedly don’t remember too many details of the story, I gave it 5 stars on Goodreads.com, so I’m guessing it was a keeper.  I’ve been scooping up all of her books since then, and typically enjoy them, with a few rare exceptions.  Her latest effort, Beautiful Day, falls somewhere in between. 

As the title and book cover imply, the story takes place over the course of a wedding weekend, the focal point of which is, of course, that ‘beautiful day.’  The stars of the show are the Carmichael family, consisting of father, Doug, and adult children Margot, Kevin, Nick, and bride-to-be, Jenna.  Perhaps you noticed a conspicuous absence there, and you would be correct.  The matriarch of the family, Beth Carmichael, had passed away some years before, a victim of cancer.  It’s ironic, then, that Beth is the first person we meet.

Knowing that she was facing a terminal illness, Beth spent the latter weeks of her life crafting ‘The Notebook,’ a  guide for her unmarried daughter, Jenna, to use while planning her future nuptials with her Prince Charming (who goes by the name of Stuart, by the way).  She goes into fine detail, covering every topic imaginable, from invitation etiquette to table linens, and we’re treated to missives from the book throughout the story. 

Sadly, this central element is the one that bothered me the most.  The priceless ‘notebook,’ which contains sage words of advice for the young bride facing the biggest day of her life without her mother, became tiring after awhile.  In the beginning of the book, I admit I had a few misty moments, remembering my wedding day, and what an important role my mom played in it.  As the pages turned, however, I found Beth’s advice becoming rather preachy and bossy, and very UN-advice-like.  (Yes, I realize that’s not really a word.  Hush)  Seriously, though, can the bride be free to make ANY decisions of her own?  This woman pretty much dictated every detail of Jenna’s day, right down to who ‘needed’ to be included on the guest list.  Sad to say, she became highly Annoying, very quickly.  (And, yes, the capital ‘A’ was intentional, just so you know!)     

Elsewhere in the Carmichael clan, there’s lots of angst and drama, as one would expect.  The strange thing, however, is that the other commotion really revolves around only two of the players – dad, Doug, and sister, Margot, both frequent narrators.  What happened to Kevin and Nick?  It’s obvious to me that they were thrown in as an afterthought, to tie-in other minor sub-plots.  In fact, there were so many of those sub-plots that I sometimes found myself losing track of people.  Who’s Pauline again?  Is she married to Doug or Edge?  Or is it Jim?  And, then we have Stuart’s mom, Ann, who also takes a turn at narration.  Unfortunately, though, her son, Stuart, is barely mentioned, which somehow seems wrong, him being the groom and all.

The book wasn’t bad, certainly.  Sadly, though, it wasn’t really great, either.  It did manage to keep me entertained, though, which is what it’s all about, isn’t it?  I also found it to be better than the last few Hilderbrand books I’ve read, though I couldn’t tell you offhand what they were.  (Again, hush).  Perhaps Barefoot just set the bar too high.  I’m not sure, but I don’t think I’ll be in as big a rush to grab her next book.  With so many other choices out there, why settle for mediocre?

3 Stars